This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize