if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
the day after is always just damage control
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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