i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
i think i have two assholes
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
