Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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