I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Randomize
