My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize