my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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