i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Let's paint friendship bongs
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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