You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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