i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
