Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
