I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Enjoy the penises
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize