I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
