its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
