Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
