Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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