Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I am puke
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize