Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
