I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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