ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
