omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I am one with the molecules
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize
