alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
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dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
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We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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