So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
