ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
