Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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