Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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