we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize
