Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
