there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize