Can i not drive my cunt home
I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Randomize