Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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