He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize