officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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