if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
