Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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