You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
