maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
