WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
