Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
