what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
