we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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