these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
