Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Randomize
