WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
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