I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
cat food counts as protein by the way
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
