Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Randomize
