Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
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