well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
