Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
no you cant smoke seaweed
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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