P.S. I can't hear my feet
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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