Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
We got so high we made milksteak
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
