I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
