Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
