ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize