I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
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