Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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