he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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