Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
