Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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