i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
please come you make the beer taste better
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize
