our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
