I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man, jail baloney is awful.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
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