p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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